Single Tweet Movie Reviews

“Penguins of Madagascar” – A whole movie based on one-joke characters in a mediocre franchise? Sounds like a bad idea. Surprisingly works.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 9, 2016

Today, I would like to waste some internet real estate to tell you about my latest in a long series of dumb ideas.

Every time a new Marvel show debuts on Netflix, I buy a month subscription so I can watch it.  It only took me four or five days to get through Luke Cage so, making the most of the remainder of my subscription, I queued up The Penguins of Madagascar and gave it a watch.

I had an opinion on the flick so I took to Twitter to express it and found it a bit of a challenge to cram my thoughts into 140 characters.  But!  I do love a challenge so for the past week, I’ve been composing movie reviews that are as entertaining and substantive as possible within the confines of a single, 140-character tweet.

It’s a really dumb idea!

Dumb though the idea may be, I’ve found it to be an interesting challenge and a lot of fun.  I’ve gotten a kick out of figuring out the best way to communicate my thoughts on an entire movie in such a limited space.  And truth be told, I have less than 140 characters to work with for my review because the film’s title can hog a goodly amount of the available characters.  Try reviewing LEGO Jurassic World: Indominus Escapes and you’ll quickly find yourself without much room for the actual review!

I considered including a short hashtag like #STMR (Single Tweet Movie Review) so interested parties (hi Mom!) could have an easy way to find the fruits of my silly idea but that’s just an extra five characters I’d be giving up.  Six if you count the space in front of the hashtag!

Anyway, I’ve collected the Single Tweet Movie Reviews I’ve written so far below.  Let me know what you think.  Should I continue wasting my time?  Should I go ahead with a hashtag and make my little hobby even more challenging?

“Penguins of Madagascar” – A whole movie based on one-joke characters in a mediocre franchise? Sounds like a bad idea. Surprisingly works.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 9, 2016

“The Nut Job” – Genuinely bad movie with a large number of genuinely effective elements. Wish they were in a better movie. Missed potential.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 9, 2016

“Turbo Kid” – The best post-apocalyptic schlock from the 80s that 2015 has to offer!

Seriously, it’s great. Check it out!

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 10, 2016

“Human Centipede 3” – About 40 minutes too long but I kinda love it anyway. Laser’s so over the top he comes back in through the bottom!

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 11, 2016

“LEGO Jurassic World: Indominus Escape” – Cute and some of the jokes work but overall just dumb and boring. At least it’s only 24 minutes.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 14, 2016

“Keijo!!!!” – Girls fight with their butts, full on DBZ style. Attacks are creative and the idea is funny. Bland, stock characters though.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 15, 2016

“Ip Man 3” – The first one is great. The second okay. The third a bit better than the second. Lots of punching. Donnie Yen refuses to age.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 16, 2016

“Kill Zone 2” – Two hours long. Bad narrative structure. People get punched good. Just not often enough. One dramatic beat sings though!

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 16, 2016

“The Bodyguard (2016)” – Sammo Hung is and always will be great but with the exception of Andy Lau’s action scene, this movie sucks.

— Andrew Eisen (@AndrewEisen) October 17, 2016