In the realm of performing arts, a green room is a room in which performers wait when they’re not out on stage doing their thing. When you go to a concert, piano recital, comedy showcase, burlesque review, magic show, opera – anything that features people performing on stage in front of an audience – when the talent is not on stage, they’re hanging out in a green room.
As a performing artist myself, I have been in dozens upon dozens of different green rooms in dozens upon dozens of different venues and I’m going to share with you the dirty little secret show biz doesn’t want you to know:
Green rooms aren’t green.
Maybe they were once upon a time but I’ve been in a ton of green rooms over the past couple decades and not a single one has ever been green. Every time I point this out to the stage management they always look at me and shake their heads like I’m some obnoxious prima donna asking for six rubber duckies and my M&Ms sorted by color. But is it really so much to ask to have a green room that’s actually green? Okay, one green room in an Arizona theater had a single green wall but other than that the walls are usually blue, beige or off-white.
And so it goes with the titular green room of Green Room, a movie about a rock band trapped in a not-green green room besieged by a cadre of racist schmucks who want to kill them after they witness a murder in the not-green green room.
What color is Green Room’s green room?
Mostly light blue. One of the walls is beige. The point is, Green Room’s green room ain’t green! I’m not sure if I should call shenanigans for false advertising or commend the movie for its realism. Anyway, let me share with you what I thought of the movie.
It was okay.