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Temptation, thy name is ‘Gummy Worms’

Gummy Worms 2I do what I can to live a healthy lifestyle.  I exercise frequently and I try my best to eat well.  But it’s not easy.  I like junk food.  I like cookies and candy and ice cream and pizza and all manner of yummy things that I really, REALLY don’t need to be eating.

Oh, having a fair portion of your favorite treat now and then is fine.  But my problem is I don’t want a “fair portion.”  I’m not satisfied with a recommended serving size of “two cookies.”  I want ALL THE COOKIES!  I don’t want a half cup of ice cream, I want the ENTIRE HALF GALLON!!  A slice of pizza ain’t going to cut it, I want the WHOLE PIZZA!!!

So, typically, I just don’t eat junk food and I avoid the temptation by simply not buying it (it helps that I’m a Scrooge McDuck-level penny pincher).

BUT!!!  My life is not completely bereft of temptation.  No.  For just outside my cubical at work is a table that is always stocked with a bunch of goodies, including one of my favorites: Gummy Worms.  You can see a five pound bag of them on the table behind me in the picture above.  There they sit.  Calling to me.  Taunting me.

You may say, “Oh, just have a worm or two.  That’s not going to hurt anything!”  And you’re right, but as mentioned, I don’t want one or two worms; I want HANDFUL AFTER HANDFUL!!!!  And yes, I know full well what gelatin is actually made of and I don’t care because it’s so delicious!

But I will remain strong.  Steadfast in my resolve to not gorge myself on their sugary goodness.  Or the jar of cookies next to them.  Or the Red Vines on the other side of the table.  Or any of the other goodies in the resupply boxes under the table.  Oh yes, that damn table will never be short of junk food.  Forever will it sit outside my cube calling to me with its siren song.

But I have a secret weapon!  I currently wear a dental appliance that helps correct my bite and it would be a pain in the butt to go to the bathroom, take it out, wash it, walk back to my desk, have my fill of Gummy Worms, walk back to the bathroom, brush my teeth, put the appliance back in and return to my desk.

Yes, pure, abject laziness is what saves me from poor eating habits.

Of course, because I exercise so much, I eat five or six meals a day so my appliance is out at least three times during the day while I’m at work.  And I could just walk a few feet over to the table and grab a handful or two while I’m eating lunch.  Or second lunch.  Or early dinner.

I could.  It would be so easy.  I really want to.


Please help.

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