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Best Sext Ever!

best-sextI was driving home from the grocery store at 9:06 last night when the phone in my pocket vibrated, informing me that I had received a text.  I’m a super duper safe driver who obeys laws dictating what you can and cannot do with your phone while driving in the bone-dry state of California so I left it in my pocket and continued on my way.

I arrived home, put my groceries away and finally checked my phone.  This is the text messaged I’d received:

“im not wearin any soocks and i have the panties to match”

Oooh yeeeah…

You’re first thought might be, “Andrew, why the hell are you sharing a dirty text with us?  Are you a braggart, sir?  Do you just want the world to know that someone wants you to know that they are bereft of underthings?”

All fine questions and I can unequivocally state that I am not sharing something naughty in order to inflate my own ego.  I mean, I’m totally not above doing such a thing but in this specific case, that’s not the reason.  No, I’m sharing this saucy text with you simply because I thought it was clever.  It’s a line I’d never heard before and I got a kick out of it.

So, who is the master wordsmith that sent me this ribald bon mot?  I have no idea.  I don’t recognize the number.  In fact, searching my phone’s history, I’ve never previously received anything from or sent anything to this number.  I thought it might be spam but such things usually include a hyperlink or instructions to “text this number.”  My guess is that someone simply sexted the wrong number.


Well, I guess its better to accidentally sext a complete stranger than your mom or boss or someone’s kid.  Still, while I would prefer sexy texts to employ proper capitalization and punctuation, I thought the message itself was funny enough to share.  Plus, I’m still chuckling over the idea of someone sexting the wrong number.

Have a lovely, sexty day, y’all!

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